One day I was hanging out with one of my fellow coworkers/ pickup artists instructor/ guyfriend when he prompted me to show him my dating profile.

As soon as he saw it, a look of disgust, like he’d just smelled rotten fish, grew on his face. He said “ugh, Amanda, this is all wrong, you look like a girl I’d take home to mom, no one’s going to want to f*ck you.”

My guyfriend then proceeded to dissect everything wrong about my profile. As he went on and on, I began to feel a tightness in my throat and unworthiness panic session began crawling up my spine…

But then I had a single thought that broke the spell like lightning:

“Wait a minute, why am I taking advice from a guppy fish on how to catch a shark?!”

There it was. The truth. I didn’t want to date a guy like my friend. I cared for my friend, but I didn’t want to date him or anyone like him. I didn’t find him physically or emotionally attractive.

Why in the world, would I take dating advice from someone I not only didn’t want to be but moreover, someone I’d never want to date.

In retrospect now, my pickup coworker was a closet misogynist who actually hated women. He was one of those types of guys who said “I like you. You’re not like other women who are just after money or totally full of themselves.”

I cringe now thinking about some of the company I kept during this period of my life. Hindsight is 20/20 and I’ve gained a lot more boundaries around the energy that I let into my space, which inadvertently began attracting more and more quality men as friends and dating prospects.

After this experience, I started to take a good, long hard look and who I was taking relationship advice from. And I’ve continued to evaluate and reevaluate everything that I feed my mind, from the music I play in the car to the people I watch on social media.

Let me tell you about two very prominent “relationship experts” I followed on social media.

Story #1

I was watching another relationship advice video sent to me by a girlfriend. This guy is extremely prolific on Instagram and many other platforms. As I watched and rewatched the video, I knew something felt “off” about what he was saying. 

It was logical, inspirational, and decent advice, but something really wasn’t sitting well with me about the guy delivering it. Then “POW!” it clicked. This guy was a total turnoff. I didn’t find anything about him attractive, from his stature to his energy vibe. 

To be candid, my thought was “I’d never f*ck this dude.” He was the opposite of the type of man I was looking for. I wanted a big, strong, masculine man. This guy was effeminate, weak, and constantly surrounded by women who were gobbling up his platitudes like gospel.

I’d caught myself again taking advice from a guppyfish on how to catch a shark.

So if you’re taking dating advice from a dude online (young or old), here are some honest questions to ask yourself: 

• Does this guy really look like a guy that you would want to date?
• What’s your first impression – is he an alpha or beta? 
• Is this guy who is giving dating advice to you the type of attractive, masculine, wealthy man you’d like to date, sleep with, and marry? 

If your answer is “No” to any of these questions, then stop taking advice from a guppyfish!

Story #2

When I was younger, I enjoyed following some fellow 20-something women on Instagram who made funny memes and podcasts on dating and men. These women were super beautiful and also appealed to my devil-may-care, I-don’t-need-a-man, women-are-better-than-men mentality at the time.

The “have you not seem the news, there’s nothing but trash in our oceans” response to the “there’s more fish in the sea” was a total vibe and movement on social media for the last 5-10 years. It was partly about taking back power from men who seem to care less about us women. It fueled the “catch flights and not feelings” hats and hashtags propagated on single solo traveling females.

And do not get me wrong, I was full on part of this counter-cultural movement. But as Mark Twain suggests, “when you find yourself on the side of the majority, perhaps it’s time to pause and reconsider.”

I realized at some point that dating beautiful vogue models and brilliant French scientist, firefighters – all with six packs – was fun, but ultimately not what I wanted longterm. (But if this is what you want right now, I can help you do that too.) I’d been playing the game with all different kinds of men “who can care less” because the person who cared less had the power.

But then I realized “why seek power, when you can have love.”

I was ready for something different, so I had to shift my beliefs about men and reconsider what I really wanted.

It was during this time that I saw my social media feed with new eyes. Had these women who provided raunchy entertainment about men and dating and had also evolved?

The answer? Kind of.

While they were getting into more “self-care,” “self-help,” and therapy, they either (1) still found ways to shit on men or (2) made the healing journey seem really arduous, like a never-ending uphill battle.

But here’s the truth. Men are freaking wonderful. And moving closer to healed along the spectrum of healing is actually quite easy, and it doesn’t require thousands of dollars and hours in therapy.

The women I was following on Instagram were beautiful and successful but also chronically single with a “most men are trash” mentality. So if you’re taking dating advice from a hot insta-babe online, here are some honest questions to ask yourself: 

• Does she spend most of her videos living in scarcity while she talks about all the shitty things men do and men’s shortcomings?
• Is this woman dating successfully? It’s one thing to have a lot of dates, it’s another to have quality pursers. 
• Is this woman married successfully? It’s one thing to be married, it’s entirely another to be happily married in a team that is thriving and growing together.
• Does she make the road to healing seem like it’s so much work?

The key difference between these online personalities and me is that I help you realize that you are your own guru, and having everything your want for yourself and a relationship is actually freaking easy! 

I’m helping you deprogram yourself from the scarcity and masculine-reward beliefs that society programmed into you. I help you unlock your inner abundance to attract high-quality men. I don’t have a social media account, so I’m not vested in constantly generating new content of the “latest thing” to keep you entertained or dependent on me. I don’t make money off more views, likes, or shares on social media. I am not your guru. I’ve only outlined the proven, scientific methods that I’ve learned, which allow you to open up your feminine intuition and find the answers within yourself. 

The answers to Big, Juicy, Magical Love for yourself and your relationship are already in you. Let’s unlock them.