FEATURED LOVE ARTICLE
How to Get Over the Fear of Intimacy, Heartbreak, and Dating Disappointment
Posted on October 18, 2022
There are a few themes that keep coming up over and over again in my inbox 📥.
Now that the solution to these patterns, I wanted to share the startling realization that the patterns reflect: fear of intimacy in your own heart 🧡…
…and how you can put this life-altering information to immediate use in your own love life.
First and foremost, I’m seeing women stating the following:
“Amanda, I’m starting to lose hope that I’ll ever find a man who will commit to me for the rest of my life. I’m afraid that I’ll be on my own. Currently, there seems to be nothing that I can do to alter the situation. Half of my friends are divorcing, so it seems like there weren’t any good ones to begin with.”
Every one of these concerns and anxieties is something that most women experience at some point in their search to build a lasting relationship.
And all of these sentiments are a part of a larger negative 🧠➿thought pattern – our neurobiological tendency to ⚖️weigh danger and bad exerpiences as more important than the positive.
Insidious, harmful feelings can swiftly overpower, frustrate, or even frighten us, so we need to be aware of them at all times. Furthermore, the longer we don’t get answers to these questions, the worse we feel about ourselves, which in turn has an effect on how we behave in the future. In most cases, it plays a big role in how we decide to find love.
That’s when things begin to go awry.
No matter how hard we try, we can’t seem to find a good partner, or the man we’re with isn’t what we expected. He falls short of our expectations for a variety of reasons, both large and minor. He isn’t paying attention to what you have to say. If he can’t put two words together, then his car is constantly dirty. When it comes to his finances, his situation is dire. Whatever
It all adds up to a feeling of 😔disappointment, 😖frustration, and 🥺sadness in love
The odds of finding “Mr. Right” are about as good as finding a shining needle in a dusty old haystack if we keep looking. We’re appalled by our own shortcomings or the scarcity of excellent men in the world. We lose interest in the search when it drags on for an extended period of time.
It’s only when a man enters our lives that our affections for him begin to deteriorate or become fatally damaged by his tiniest flaws. When he snores or delivers jokes, we’re persuaded that we won’t be able to survive another day without him… we’re actually suffering from something far more serious.
We dislike the fact that finding the love of our lives is getting increasingly difficult.
When we meet men or think we already have a man in our lives who is “alright,” we get this sense. “He’s OK.” He’s a polite and competent individual. But every time we look into his eyes, we see the sad truth…
Neither okay, pleasant, nor adequate can satisfy our desires for passion and desire, let alone provide us the inspiration, deep love, and contentment we long for.
The Fear of Intimacy
What’s common in all three feelings? The fear of intimacy. The truth is if you’re making these emotions “wrong” (whether intentionally or unintentionally), you’re truly not being true… You can’t have real intimacy if you’re not being yourself!
All of these unpleasant sensations are completely unappealing to most people. There is nothing wrong with being human, after all! I think it’s one of the most important aspects of our feminine power as women: the ability to fully express ourselves emotionally. Keeping things out in the open but not making them into a big deal, either.
When you’re attempting to make a relationship work with a guy you’re disgusted with, but you keep putting it off because he’s “good enough,” you’re in trouble. If you don’t express your disgust, it will fester inside of you and make you feel much worse than if you did.
Intimacy, on the other hand, thrives on genuine emotional 🪢connection. When emotions and feelings are bottled up or feigned, intimacy inevitably dies ⚰️.