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Amanda Serna's Commitment & Attraction Advice Articles

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ATTRACTION & COMMITMENT

The Narrative of The Strong Successful Woman and Why It Hurts Your Relationship

Posted on October 18, 2022

What if you’re a woman who has it all except for love and relationships? You’re educated, successful, driven, beautiful, and great in bed – what’s not to love? Is it common for men to stop communicating with you after a few dates or to say they’re not interested? Why are they not literally lining up outside my yard? This is the best milkshake 🧋 in town!

The truth is that a man is attracted to successful and self-sufficient women. Smart women have no effect on men’s confidence. However, the way you’re interacting with him can intimidate and turn him off. 

It’s possible that you’re failing in love because of your energy, not because you’re clever and have it all together.

Here are some common reasons why you may be failing with men:

1. You tend to emasculate men by “out-manning” them.

If you’re a woman who has achieved success and happiness, celebrate it! Be a manager, a boss, and a multi-tasker at the same time. On the other hand, don’t try to control a man or be his bosswhen you’re out on a date or hanging out with him at home.

You may be doing this in subtle ways. “You should do this” or “I wouldn’t do that” are examples of advice he might receive from you when he tells you about a problem he’s having. 

The way you’re speaking him makes him feel like he’s a kid and you’re his mom. Having feelings like this isn’t good for a man. Respect and admiration are more important than 🤱mothering him. 

In order to communicate your desires and needs to a man, you can simply say, “I’d like that,” “I don’t want that,” or “That would feel good to me.”

It’s easy to lose a man’s interest by downplaying our accomplishments because we believe that men are competitive and want to be better than we are at everything. That’s not true, plain and simple! You can be successful, just don’t try to compete at every turn.

 

2. Trying to control the direction of the relationship

Femine energy is receiving and inviting. For the majority of women, it is extremely relaxing to fall into the natural rhythm of our feminine energy. You’re in the driver’s seat for the rest of your life, take a load off and let him lead in the relationship. 

And remember, you can always get out of the 🚗car if you don’t like where he is going. Because feminine energy is receiving and not giving energy, it gets to be very picky about what kind of energy it lets in!

Manage your life outside of your relationship with a man, including your time, money, work, and environment. Masculine energy has brought you far in your life, but it will not take you far if you want to be in a relationship with a masculine man.

However, the next time you feel the urge to exert control over the course of a relationship, fight the temptation. Instead of focusing on what you don’t like, focus on what you do like.

 

3. Doing the most

An unfortunate side effect of being a successful woman is that you can accomplish almost anything – and do it very well for that matter. Waiting for him to complete a task can feel absolutely excruciating at times.

Learning to be surprised by a man and not trying to force things will help you overcome this problem. He should be able to decide where it goes from here. If you’re not happy with how things are going, you can always “get out of the car and wait for the next one to come along.”

 As a woman who was born to lead, the way I was using those real, genuine strengths killed my relationships with the men I cared about. 

Later, I learned how to use my masculine energy and the take-charge-energy to my advantage while at the same time 👐relinquishing any control over a man. This was the catalyst for a dramatic shift in my life.

This is the story of how I saved my relationship in just a few weeks, and I tell it in detail in my blog. In my book, you’ll learn what words to use when talking to a man and how to stand and sit around him in such a way that your strengths are channeled and feel 🧲magnetic to him.

As a woman who is used to being strong on the OUTSIDE, I’ll show you how to literally undo the damage you’ve done yourself over the years to grow real strength on the INSIDE.

You will also learn that doing less and receiving more can actually increase a man’s feelings of affection for you.

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